kam wai's blog

I'm back to my blog once again ^^

2012-01-10T09:42:00.000-08:00

It's been so long that i haven't been coming back here to write for my blog. GOSH .. guess how long is it .. i wondering is it more than a year ? That's a reason i came back to write is because got one TUMMY JAGUNG asked me to do so xD..lol... So , i think i could fulfill her wish xD...lol...

erm.. everything goes good and nice and sometimes it turns bad and worst . As what I had passed through , i can say , i become tougher and more mature. It's just like someone told me, everything happened in your college life is the most valuable memories in your whole journey of life. I support and agreed what he and she told me.

i think this will be a long length of blog, as i have not blogging for so long , haha... I learned many things after i get into college life, and now i'm already 20. I can't say i knew many but i can say i knew more than what i should know.

I thought of sentence by now, everyone will remember who you are when you are on the top of the mountain and the best performance player in all the roles, and yet they will remember you when you are still valuable to them. I understand there sure will be conflict happen between friends and colleagues, and this let me know and understand that, don't ever trust anyone so much as you don't know when are they going to betray you and back-stabbed you. I tell myself this is the real world and i have to accept it and live my life ever better than before. And i told myself about how i have been lived my life from the pass 20 years, i can accept all the bad things happened on me and around me. And i have been independent for a long time, and how sad is this, when the reality world telling you that you have to depend on yourself and no one is willing to helps you by your side and when they are betraying you, and you're going to DIE. I knew how to be independent, and yet i know how to take care of myself and live my life better than all of others. But i'm tired, i wish i could rest for a while , even just a single minutes, acting in front of people is tiring and boring.

And now, in the year 2012, and i'm already 20 years old. I don't have much time to playing and joking around anymore, as my dad is getting older and older and the financial condition in my family is getting worst and worst as the economy is not so good compared to the past. I'm struggling now, i wondering whether i should continue to study or take over my dad's business and just started my working life like this. As i know, and understand myself well, I'm not the WOOD for study, and yet i have no mood to study and i'm not interested to STUDY !!!!

There are two more semester left. Anyway, i will finish my diploma and i will think about this problem again at that time.

I don't wish to grow up, because there will be a lot of fun and joy getting lost day by day and year by year. And i couldn't be PURE thinking anymore, there will be stress and many problem will be coming up in my life as i'm growing up. I'm scare to think about my future, because i'm not ready yet for that !!!

Let's end this blog by here, will be touch up again soon when i have the mood to write blog again . see ya my blog ^^

Everything start all over again

2010-11-27T06:59:00.000-08:00

Continue for my last post.....we broke up at the end, our story do have an ending , lots of memories and lots of tears have been drops by me , although i don't hope to be like this , although we don't even argue once , although i LOVE you so much , but you still choose to leave me and back to your own world. It's okay, I do respect your decision , and i will try my best to recover as soon as possible , but can you promised me one thing , don't ever gimme a chance next time if you don't have the strong strength to stay together with me until forever. And promise to yourself that you will take good care for yourself and protect yourself everyday. Don't fall sick and you must drink lots of water and have your meal everyday , you must sleep early everyday , don't read till so late and delay your bedtime. I will live my life well as what I promised to myself , and i know you won't care about all that , it's okay , i will be myself and you will be yourself . And i will try to accept and get through that things that might be happen in the future , i believe that i could find another one that will LOVE me as much as I love her . And i believe that you will find someone that can fulfill your requirement and he can change your attitude. That's all for now , good bye and take care for yourself.

拉曼学院的日记

2010-08-07T07:45:00.000-07:00

都是方面的不多说...我写部落格的大多数都是在写我的爱情或心情的...在新的学园生活里...我认识到了很多不同的人..也见识了很多所谓的"外面的世界"..不过..这篇文章是写关于我和她的开始..

05/07/2010

故事开始的第一天.......

22/07/2010

过了大概两个星期的时间,她终于开始接受我了,很开心,第一次拖着手回家,第一次让我认真地吻她.

27&28/07/2010

感情越来越好....

03/08/2010

今天很开心,真的很开心,她终于答应成为我的女朋友了,我终于可以名正言顺地告诉其他人她是我的.

06/08/2010

第一次的外出,是和学系里的朋友一起去的,我们大家一起去到港口参观,今天是我第一天第一次做了让她不愉快的事,不过,我也答应她我不会再犯了,原来她不希望我们的关系公开.那晚她第二次问我有没有后悔,我回答没有,因为我也是考虑很久了才决定要选她的,她说她害怕会伤害到我.

07/08/2010

不知怎么了,怎么今天感觉她对我有点冷淡了的啊,是因为昨天的事？还是她又再想回以前她的事啊,还是这就是她的性格啊?希望我们不会有任何事情发生啊,我不愿意你离开.

juz a updated

2010-03-07T09:26:00.000-08:00

seems that it have past so long ... i'm ardy recover and i'm nth now ...actually ...i juz feel very tired of my life now ...everyday doing the same things...cannot go out ...no work ...juz waiting result comes out on thursday and waiting my class start on 10th May 2010...wat a boring life for me now ...wake up > eat > bath > comp > dinner > bath > comp > sleep > (start all over again )...it's damm bored ...

i think u've ardy forget about me ...i find u juz now ...and u juz seems like a stranger for me ...or u're juz someone that better than my normal fren ...i wont care about u and i wont get irritate by u anymore ...u're so happy with him now .. i'm very happy about that ..coz u finally found a good guy and he will treat u very good and give every best things to u ...i'm looking back to our memories ...i feel that are quite sweet and nice...and abit stupid and naive ...but that's our dream ..hope it will be come true in the future (if u still remember who am i )...result is coming out by this thursday...at first ...thanks for ur teaching for my math at the last moment ..and thank you for letting me do THAT THING to u on that day ...really thank you ...coz that let me know wat am i thinking at that time ...and thank you for giving me TWO IMPORTANT lesson ...althought that's the same lesson ... but i will promise u ...i wont get into it third time ...

another person (someone will know who is she) who i wan to thanks is YOU ...thank you for let me finish my aspiration ...althought that we will meet up and have a date out because of a deal ...but it's quite funny ...we begin with a deal oso ....i think u oso know about that ...i told u right ...i feel sry about that ...but wat i did in that moment is from my true heart ... i say i love you is true de ...cause i'm really love u ....but u got to focus on ur exam this year ...so mayb i will get the chance once again after ur exam ...i hope so ...^^....but ...i hope that i wont change too much at that moment ...i scare i would have many changes after i start my college life ....but we're good fren now ...juz i'm thinking wanna to upgrade our status to another level once again ....i'm thinking shud we continue to be like NOW or get back to BEFORE .....herm...hope that will be a NEVER-ENDING between us ...althought that is juz my DREAM last night ...

there are three girls affect my life and make me grown up in my life till now ...the third girl ...i wan to talk about her now ...( I HAVE MIXED UP THE ARRANGEMENT ABOUT THE GIRL WHO HAD AFFECT ME MUCH) she is my first love ...as u all who knew me shud know who is she la ...because here is public ...so i cant write out her name la ...she is my first gf...think back to that time ...it's really funny ...we begin with a SENTENCES...our classmate shout out ' XXX love XXX ' ....herm...mant things happen between us ...U'RE the ONE who change me MUCH ...all THATS ...juz let it be our memories ...i dun wan to tell out here...i juz wan to share my feeling at here ...i dunno why u will choose the decision that time ...but i realize that during form5...coz u really done wat u SAID ...i saw u really study very hardworking and u really did enjoy ur life well and great ...this is wat u promised to me ...i accept the reason now ...but i thinking to refuse about ur reason now oso ...coz we're 18 now ...althought there's still many years for us to study ....but i think now we can manage our time well ...and we can control our felling and give out our LOVES well and more clever....i can promise to u .. if we get a chance to be TOGETHER once again ....i will swear to GOD and swear to u ....i wont did the same mistake anymore and i will control my temper and i will keep our distance as well...i will let u get ur FREEDOM ....and we wont be like last time ...everything oso nid u to 'ZAO' me ... but now i've change ...i have ardy change much and i can promise i can be a goof BF ...but i cant promise u to be a PERFECT BOYFRIEND ...cause nobody is perfect in the world ...but i can give u the ever best things in the world ...a TRUE HEART ...althought not only i can do this for u ...and i know u got a new life and new target now ... and u wont look backward to the PAST ...so i will wish u and greed u now ...i wish and hope u can get a GOOD bf ...and i hope he will treat u very well and better than mine ...and i hope u will got a happy relation in some other days ...and i'm very happy that we're FRIEND now ...

I feel relax and relax and relax after i write out this post ...i've express out my feeling in my heart ...this is ardy tighten me for few months ..and i hope tonight i will get a good sleep ....

trip tp a'famosa

2009-12-22T00:01:00.000-08:00

On the first day ...after i had a dim sum breakfast with my family ....thn i went to meet up with my frens at petronas ...after that ...we went to kb hse by his estima ...12 ppl stuck inside one car >.<...haha ...after that...we get on to the travelling van and start our journey to melaka...

Day 1 (18th Dec )

we reached a'famosa about 11 smth...first we thought we can check-in at 12 o'clock ...but when we gonna check-in the guys told us we onlu can check-in at 4 o'clock ...WTF ...it's wasting our time ...after we argue with the guy ...thn we get out key and we move to our bungalow ( villa )...after we finish putting our luggage...thn we changes our cloth and prepare to go to the water world...it's fun and we feel joy and happy ....somemore that day is raining ...it's very cold ...jy and eevon cant stand for the cold so they both come up and rest at aside ...thn the remaining of us cont to play in the pool(wave)...after that ...around 5smth we leave water world and waiting our shuttle in the entrance ...and that time is raining....it's quite cold ~~after we finish bath ...we went to cowboy's town to have dinner at the chinese restaurant and the food is suck ==||...thn after dinner ...we went back to our villa to play games and drinks....some of us get drunk ...^^..lucky i dint...

Day2 (19th Dec)

early in the morning ..i'm the first one who wake up and be the morning call for the rest ....after we finish prepare ...we went out to have our buffet breakfast..the food is normal .....and raymond is being thief...he stealing few pancakes and bring back to our villa ....lol....the waiter is looking at him and we had take a video record =p...we took a nap after breakfast when we went back to villa ....thn around 2smth ...we went out to animal world ...and that time is heavy rain ...we all almost get wet...but it's fun ....we took photo with parrot and monkey ^^...(photo will be shown in my frens' FB photo album,if they got upload the photos)...the animal shows is canceled because of heavy rain ...but we got another good 'show' to watch ....the org utan climb out from the cage and running around the place...all ppl were get shock and running away...lol....bunch of ppl scare of one org utan ...funny =p...because of heavy rain ..so we took boat to the Monkey Island...there are many kinds of monkey ...we took many photo of the monkey ....althought they are beside the "window"....we all were wet and we went back to villa around 6smth ...after we took bath ...we went out for dinner and we waiting cowboy's show and Carnivals at 8 o'clock..the are few pretty ...they looks beautiful ...all the man shout and get attract by them ^_^...but there oso many 'AGUA' ==....aiyer...wanna muntah jor ....yiak....after the carnival ....we went to the bar to have a drinks and watching football match ...thn around 12 o'clock...we went to watch 4D movie ....and it's sucks ...just only 10 minutes thn finish ardy ....lucky it's free ...after that ....we went back to villa and play card game ...kb , eevon , jy get drunk ...and we played hide & seek in the whole villa ...the area is very huge ...me , kit , hao , chee yi being 'ghost ' , we went to find all the 'human' ( kb , poey , li ying , eevon , joe)....raymond and jy was sleeping in villa == ....haiz ...and tj accompany jy in the room ....thn we all get back to villa around 3 o'clock ...few of us still dun wan sleep and watching basketball match till 4smth ...i'm the last man standing winner .... i slept at 5 o'clock ....

Day 3 (20th Dec)

Early in the morning ...i awake because of kb's phone ringing....==...we all wake up around 11.30 and bath and pack our things ....thn we check-out at 12 o'clock ....after we check-out ...we all go back to kb's hse ...after that we went to eat pizza hut and kb sent everyone of us back to home ...me , hao , joe went to raymond 's hse and stay overnight cause we dun wan go back home so 'early' ...=p....at night ...after we had dinner ....we went to play pool...and at midnight...ck come and fetch us and we went to play snooker == ....thn we had a FREE meal in the restaurant by treated by the malay guy....cause he wanna to ask us to join as a member ...PGRedCafe...==...but the food quite nice ....we order almost over RM 100 de food ...and we just leave that restaurant like that....

Day off to SPM

2009-10-18T04:14:00.000-07:00

These thirty plus days ...wat can i do is just study study study ....and study ...haiz ...nth more i can do and think ..erm...loves , games , party , etc ...these all dun think first luu...there are many chances and choices after my SPM ...

erm....dunno why ...these few days i miss about the feeling that she and she give me ...mayb i'm alone for too long ardy gua =p ....erm....i think i need someone who can take care of me and arrange everythings for me ...plans everything for me ..erm....mayb i miss her too much jor gua =p ..bleks hehe...

erm...wat can i do ..study first ba ....it just left 30 days ....last war for 30++ days ....thn i will claim my freedom and all the things i wan ...=p ...gambateh...

exam GONNA finish ^_^

2009-10-09T09:19:00.000-07:00

hehe ...nowadays busying study and study and study ...== ....weird ...haiz ...forecast exam gona finish ...next monday 12 oct 2009 .... my last war with forecast .... =p ... one month later i got to face my final war with SPM o.O ....think dao oso scare jor ....=p

nowadays din emo so much jor ...is a good changes ...herm ...lsw and lsx geh things gone jor luu...many latest news updated ..and ....that's all is secret la ....anyone who wan to know just ask me la ...=p ....

yesterday morning learning account=>document == ...haiz ....but when i do the question ..i stuck and lost my way ....haiz ....from now on till sunday morning i'm free and off to study...only start revision for perdagangan on sunday ...during this short time i need to take a break and take a rest ... fall sick T_T ...wuwuwu ... got to recover faster before the last paper

confusing again

2009-09-18T08:44:00.000-07:00

what am i doing now ?? like a nerd ...like a stupid kids asking sweet from elder ...i think i should make a decision asap ....between LSW and LSX ..i must choose either one ...dun step on 2 boat ...that's not fair for 3 of us

just a update for my blog

2009-07-21T05:14:00.000-07:00

erm....nth special in these few months....just sometimes happy and sometimes upset and feel down ... many things have changed ....the first thing is my class....mayb this problem happened long time ago ...but watever it is la ....i wont bother about that ....

erm....beside that ...should i be get into 'u' again or once more ?? or we just staying this relationship ?? or we should move backward for some reason ?? i dunno how to express my feeling now ... when u happy ...absolutely i will happy .... but when u upset and down ....i will feel pain and helpless ...i will blame myself for cant help u at all ... because of some situation ...i cant get near to u ....because i dun hope we will become one of the topic in our school .... and i dun wan to afect u in ur life ... watever it is ... i hope i can stay beside and around u at all times....i hope u will think of me when u need help and when u need someone to talk to ... i will be staying around and stand by 24-hours to be ur listener ....

读书的时候到了

2009-06-06T10:07:00.000-07:00

真惨..现在开始就要开始认真读书了..不能再玩了..不过..在五个月后...我就会回来了..我会让你们都记得是谁回来了=p..暂时写到这吧..

难熬的日子过去了: 面对新的生活吧

2009-06-01T09:21:00.000-07:00

我已经可以确定..我不再想你们了..或许..我的经历还不够..但对于一个十七岁的男生应该算超越了吧..我不会再对你们说一句对不起了..因为我已经补偿回我所有的错误了..现在剩下的..是你们欠我的.但.我不打算要你们赔偿我..就当作是扯平吧..我不是一个不认输的失败者..我只是一个不逞强不倔强的失败者..但人是需要经过失败挫折才会懂得成长的..我不是说我很成熟了..我只是要说..我有着其他人没有的经历和经验..

你不想要把我当成朋友..没关系.因为我也已经不打算再去请求别人任何东西了..我可以放弃所有的一切..包括你..我拿得起就放得下..是你选择了其他人..但我不怪你..因为最先犯错的人是我..

我的记忆力已经越来越衰退了..我真得很担心..担心有一天我会把所有的东西都忘记了..早知当初就不该动手术..真是活该..唯有靠自己慢慢在增强自己的记忆力吧..

我应该没事了吧

2009-04-14T06:49:00.000-07:00

希望我自己已经没事了啦..其实这样的日子也不怎么难熬嘛..或许说我也麻木了吧..怎么说玻璃心已经溃不成形了..该怎么把碎片一片片的不回去呢??就算补回外形..里面的核心会是空心的吗??

事情发生也该有一个月了吧..真佩服我的复原能力是那么快的..或许刚开始只是我不甘心吧..今天看回旧电话的信息..想起当初我们是多么的开心的..转眼间我们就成了陌生人似的..

看来我也应该成熟点吧..我不应该再像小孩子那样了..人是需要独立成长的..我可以告诉你..没有你的生活..我还是依然过得很好..只是少了当初的喜悦快乐..拥有过就足够了..美好的事物不一定要保留..这是你们射手座的本性吧..不过我们巨蟹座..可是和你们刚好相反的..我们会珍惜所有一切美好的事物..我们会永远守护和徘徊在从前的回忆..我们是非常念旧的生物..不像你们永远只迎接未来的事情..和你们得过且过的性格..我们可是很难才有机会配对在一起的星座..所以..如果以后你遇到了蟹子..记得要好好地珍惜他..别再让蟹子受伤了..因为不是每一个蟹子都像我那么固执和倔强的..

说完..祝你的新生活过得愉快..Y.N.M.D.A FAREWELL

该忘记了吧

2009-03-27T08:57:00.000-07:00

故事本来应该有完美的结局的..不过..我们的故事..应该到此结束了吧..还没到最恶劣的地步就该结束了吧..我们走不下去了..应该说从未开始他出过第一步吧..一直以来都是我自己一厢情愿..以为darling就是一切..我把我们之间的“特殊关系”看的太过重要了..你应该从没有把这件事..放过在心上吧..

别人说的..要忘记一个人..就必须去找另外一个人..这也是我们认识的原因吧..过客的时期过完了..我就变回陌路人了..我不会再说谢谢..或是对不起了..因为这些词语..都曾经狠狠的伤害过我..伤心总是会结束的..我会慢慢地忘记你..就把以前的事情当是一场梦吧..现在梦醒了..就该继续走我们自己的路了..我不会再找你了..我会彻底地把你忘掉..你给过我的东西..我会把它们都收好..我不会再碰关于和属于我们两个的东西了..如果有机会..我会把我们之间所谓的“情侣机”给换掉..相信你一早就想换了吧..

现在的你..应该和新的darling在谈着心事或很开心得聊着吧..我这个人...该说是单纯还是笨呢..不过都没关系了..不重要了..我失去所有的一切..都是我自己活该的..我不可以怨别人..一开始就已经是个错误了..我竟然还会把头栽进去..真是活该..我常常问我自己..为何我会喜欢上你的呢..真的是有日久生情的吗..

我是多么的想要恨你..怨你..我很想很恨得把你给忘掉..我多么得想憎恨你..不过我办不到..我的心就是一直想着要和你保留一点点的关系..我无法对你做到绝情绝义..就因为这样..所以我从以前到现在才会这样..就只因为我喜欢上你了..明知道不可能了..我还是要继续下去..真的是蠢到无药可救了..我无法原谅我自己的过失..我无法接受现在这样的事实..不过..我会慢慢的适应..适应没有你的世界..以后我们见面了..记得要把我当成不认识的人..不过我想我不说你也会这样做吧..

多说也是多余的..总之以后你一切好之为知了..好好的保重..

wat can i do

2009-03-19T08:29:00.001-07:00

wat should i do ... wat can i do ....wat u wan ?? i dun wan to be like now....its very hard for me ... i really dunno wat can i do more to solve the problem... i should say to solve this condition....i really dunno wat should i do ... suddenly all hte things change to become like this ...

i admit i haven let it go before at all.... i admit i like u .... and i know watever i do also no use..cause between us just darling's relationship ... i wont be the one that u like...i choose to stay in darling geh relationship because i dun wan us to be like all my last experience...all the end is break up ... i wan to be stay beside u .... i wan to be like before ... we chat everythings ...there are no secret between me and u ... i dunno since when .... secret appear between us ...mayb is that time ...i choose to stay beside u because i dun wan to lost u ... u r the only one can chat with me in deep heart ... u r the one who accompany me and persuade me to get through all the HARDS..u r the one who help me and ask me to stay strong in all condition ...

i dun wan to lost u ...i dun wan we just end like this .. it shouldn't be like this ...i really dunno wat should and wat can i do for revive our darling relationship..i'm stuck and i'm paralyse when we become like ths ... i dunno wat can i do to solve this ..i dunno wat u want ... i dunno why everythings suddenly change to become like this ... pls tell me wat should i do ... wat can i do ...

tell me wat to do that can let us amity...tell me wat can i do that only can let u come b ...tell me wat to do to get our friendship back .... pls dun torment me.... pls ..pls....pls dun let me go through all this again ... pls....i dun wanna to be alone ....

changes for last blog

2009-03-17T10:02:00.001-07:00

i think i had write smth wrong .. or mayb my english is too low standard jor ... or mayb i dunno how to write la ..

YES ... actually i not know u so well ...but however i oso know u much more than u know about me...i really dunno why just a small reason will make everythings changed to be like now... i dun hope will be like this and i hope we will be just like before....just like we go out and staying happy....and always chit-chat on the phone ... everyday i wake u up when i having my break ....and chat after i finish my tuition when i at LRT..just like everyday u ask me go study ...

i dun hope we will be like now .. like argue-ing ... and not bother each others...this very scary and lonely for me...i afraid this condition and this position ..i really dunno why just because i'm 'fan' and annoying will make us to be like this ..u can tell me and ask me stop to do that de ma... y should u treat me like this ...

but i happy that u still will read my blog ... if not u wont write that PM in ur msn .... i'm really happy ... but i dunno wherther u are care for me or u wan to see wat i will say or talks bad about u la....i wont do that .. i never do that before ...wont and never...

i will b very happy if u msg me back some other day...hope u will read this blog oso la....anyway ...thank you for everythings that u gave me and thank you for everythings that u teached me ... thank you .. aligato....

am i too stupid or childish

2009-03-15T20:35:00.000-07:00

finally i know that ... there is nothing call forever or unbreakable...everythings will come fast and gone fast ...wat can we do for all that...we cant do anythings on all the changes ...i thought everythings were just pass by normal and i thought everythings that i do is just as normal as everyday i done for u .... now i only notice that is annoying for u and disturbing u ... sry for i done that to u...sry for i disturb u so much and so long ...

mayb everythings shouldn't be started or begans that time ... why should i done so many things for u ..how can i betrays someone and choose another one in the wrong time .... i did the wrong decision at the wrong time ...everythings cant go back .... nothings will come to us again once we lost it ...

i think everythings is over between us ... u will have ur life well and i will do that so ... i'm too childish le....i think watever i do is just care and guan xin u.. and now i only know that ... the sentences u told me is just a lies...there is no forever...there is nothings call darling ...there is nothings for us... i know u wont care or mind all this so much ... i know u wont bother all this as well ... i know u too well... anyway ... i appreciate everythings that i had before.. thank you ...

'FATE' = SAD

2009-02-14T09:45:00.000-08:00

is that wat we call fate.... y the 'GOD' wan to let me meet her so many times...i'm ardy try my best to stay away from her.... evade from her... i ardy try all my best to escape from u...why !!!!!y U wan let me meet her so many times ...

i'm not the kindest person in the world ... i'm not that kind of ppl that full-fillness of love and happy...everyone will be sad .. i cant always pretent happy and nth in front of ppl...especially u... i cant do that ...

i wan to tell u that i'm regret to do that to u ... i regret that i din appreciate u since last time... i regret that i not cares for ur feelings .... i regret that i din appreciate so many chances that u gave me...as wat i had promised to my D... if i meet her again 1 by 1 b4 valentine days...i will go in front and tell her that i wan to be with her...YES...IT DID HAPPEN TO ME... I MEET HER ON FRIDAY AT 6:48:53..but i din do that so .... i just walk away ... just pass by her... and i cant pretent happy anymore... i cant make myself smile once more...

if me and her really got FATE...absolutely i'm sure that's a BROKEN FATE...cause me and her.. wont have anymore chance to be together ... not even a chances.... not even a talk and contact or conversation...

hope i can release u ... as soon as possible... i wan to forget about u...i wan to just let this end like this...i dun wan it happen once more...i choose to be stay away from u as u choose to be mess and mad to me...

I WONT BORDER THE FEELINGS OF LOVE ANYMORE...UNTIL A SUITABLE TIME...

new balanced of me

2009-02-14T09:31:00.000-08:00

mayb i shouldn't learnt this kind of experience....but somehow.. i will accepct it bcoz that ardy happened... it ok... i will try my best to settle my mood and my mind... just concentrate in my SPM exam this year... anythings else... i will just left behind... this was wat i told myself since the first day began in 2009...

mayb wat i had done or choose was a mistake... or that was a big wrong chosen selection...y should i sacrifies so many things for somethings that is not belongs to me... y should i sacrifies my time my mind my heart to someone that i shouldn't spent to...should i stop ?? should i redraw myself from this ?? should i just left her behind??? can i do that ? can i stop thinking, worry,care,emo for her?? can i ???can i make it to successful?? should i ?? can i ??

i think wont... this was wat i had choose to be ..i scare i will regret and refuse to do that so...the main problem is... i scare i will lost her... i scare i will lost my D..i sacrifies smth that bcoz i just wan to be with my D..i will ngmm gam sam....i will regret...bcoz i GAIN smth... and i LOST smth...althought i get much... but i even LOST more than wat i GAIN...

dun ever regret for wat u have done...this wat i always remind myself and all my friends that around me..but now ...i seem that i have a little bit regret....

last day of 2008

2008-12-30T18:38:00.000-08:00

hope today everythings will be run in plan...hope nth will destroy my plan for my last day to go out in 2008 ... hope nth will break my mood la...

I'm back

2008-12-16T09:16:00.000-08:00

i'm bACk..Sad_Mad_Dvl_Agl was back ... now ... i will be in single and wont get into any relationship ..i will finish my studies and all the things that i need to finish first ..mayb i will be lonely ... but single does not means u r alone and pitiful ... we can have our single life as well as couple life .. although sometimes we will be jealous or we will we jealous on 14 feb .. ValeNtiNe dAy.. but it doesn't means we need to have couple to celebrate valentine day..

anyway .. i'm back .. so .. my fren ... dun get shock when u meet me somewhere ... and pls dun be afraid of me .. haha ..

a memoriable memory =p

2008-12-06T09:12:00.000-08:00

haha... althought just can come out once in this holiday.... but can go out with my 'darling' thn is good enough jor de la ... hehe....although this 3days 2 night de genting trip is pass fast jor ... but i will memories all the things that we do and play at genting... hehe...

although this time i'm the only form4 ... and the younger in 6 ppl... but i very happy that i can knew them and have fun with them in this 3 days la ... i learnt somethings new in the second day.. lol ... that really unny and nice game that i had played before... that is 'bluffing game' .... the way to pla that game is use ur mind and brain and eyes to bluff ppl ... haha... erm.. although i lose 3 times .. but at least i can win once at the last game ..

herm.... the others i cant say at here la... that all is secret .... =x shh ...hehe.... ^_^... thanks darling for ask me to go genting with u ... hehe... if ot i think i still fussying about my problem geh ... hehe.... thank you ... love u ah ... muackx ^_^

Bad mood-ing !!!!!!!

2008-11-24T08:31:00.000-08:00

wat the heck happen around me .. WTF!!@!#!@#!... y all this things come to me again once and once more .. wat the hell !!!! y everythings in my life so suxs ... y i can t have my life well and normal ... is that i'm a person that abnormal #^$#@$$#^$% WTF !!!!! ENOUGH !!!! that enough!!!!!!!!!!! i cant stand for that anymore .. i dun wan to face all that anymore !!!! it is ardy enough to me .... it ardy enough for a young adult ... that is ENOUGH !!!

all this problem is not suitable for me to face it ... i dun want to face it .... now are not the suitable and right time for me to face all this things !!!!! can 'u' leave me alone .... can 'U' leave me aside .... can 'U' go away from me far away !!!! i dun want to see'U' anymore ... i dun want to see 'U" ANYMORE !!!!!! just go away !!!

i miss u [O..O]

2008-11-21T08:25:00.001-08:00

i very miss u ... i wan see u ... i hope i can go out find u now ... but i cant make it ... wat happen to ur phone ?? wat happen to u ?? i want to know ... i want to know everything about u ... i want know wat u doing any time...

y i wan to be like this ... shouldn't that i must focus in study right here right now ?? i should be start studying for next year SPM .. but y ... y i still cant give all my concentration and all my minds to my study ... y i still need to think too much ... am i scare ??

i think so ... i scare after two years smth could happen and change ... i scare i will miss a chance again ... i scare after two years we wont fall in love again ... i scare u will leave me after two years .. i scare everythings that got link with u ... and i worry oso...wat can i do .... wat can i do to face and rest out my mind ...

i'm really regret le

2008-11-16T08:44:00.000-08:00

y i want to make everythings like this ... y i cant save everything well ... y i cant keep everything around me well ... i want everything that around me will stay with me for rest of my life.... i want gain ... i dun want lost anythings.. it very hard to let me put u down ... i think so much and worry so much ... and i finally understood le... but at last u gone away le ... i hurt u and make u left me le ... sadness.. T_T ... if i can decide earlier.... thn now we must be very happy le ...

i'm regret that i let u gone away .... i let someone that lurve me left me .... and i just let her stand behind to face problems that she facing... sorry for let u faced problem alone... this really not i hope to be .... and i cant save it ... i cant heal all this .... it already happen .... sorry .... but ...trust me ... in this two years time .... i will prove u my heart .... trust me ... pls ... can ma ??

this year , 2008 ... was passing too fast .... for a short moment of time ... now is already holiday .... now is november le... so fast .... i waste too much time to play and joking around ...i waste my time to study and do all the things that i need to do .... i'm regret that i lost so many chances and waste so much of time ... but ... start from now .... i will save and kepp all my time .. i will use all my time well and in order ... i wont waste my time anymore...

i still got one year thn wanna spm le ... haiz ... so fast .... just looking backward ... remember that my first day join the school ... when i'm still a form one boy ... that really funny ...haha ....